Bad idea?

[Eugenious]

SO I was on a first date with this chick a few months back and we were having a good time sitting outside a restaurant having a few drinks and we havent seen eachother since. I've been trying to go on another date with her but she's been kinda slow to respont when I txt her or called etc...

recently she finally called me back and was kind of irritated that I tried to contact her etc even though she said she would like to see me again one more time when we were on the date and she did not indicate that she changed her mind...

Also when I was on the phone with her I told her I had a pic of her on my iphone that I took of her when we were having drink jokingly and she got really pissed that I would take a pic of her on the first date sending me an email later ...

I dont usually do that but we were just joking around, it doesnt sound like she likes me very much but I am just perplexed why would you just tell someone that you dont want to see them why play these games and act so lame...


eh...

[lofter1]

Sounds like a complainer + whiner + drama freak -- most likely you're better off without.

(If she was so against hearing from you she could have blocked your number.)

Keep the pic -- you'll always have the option of posting it to serve as a warning to others :cool:

[John P Robinson]

Keep the pic -- you'll always have the option of posting it to serve as a warning to others :cool:

:D:D:DTop class answer:D:D:D

[stache]

I don't think I ever had a date where the other person comes out and says 'Let's never do this again'. If they don't respond to a second call it's time to move on.

[ZippyTheChimp]

Is that what happened? I thought she wanted to see him again.

[stache]

I think she just said that to be nice, but didn't mean it.

[ZippyTheChimp]

Yeah, but she didn't come out and say it.

At least she didn't throw a drink.

[lofter1]

Not yet, anyway.

[Eugenious]

lol...yes I guess I should have read the situation a bit better but I am just stubborn like that, if a girl says sure lets do this again sometime I will keep her to her word...

but anyway if men just gave up at the first sight of resistance I dont think the human race would exist..

[lofter1]

The age old questions:

When does "Yes" mean "No" ...

And when does "No" mean "Yes" :confused:

[stache]

IMO it's better to drop it if it becomes a huge effort. "No" means buy someone else a drink.

[ZippyTheChimp]

If good sex is a possibility, then I think it merits one attempt. After that, move on.
<br><br>Of course, the situation may become more complicated.

[Ninjahedge]

Play innocent.

Guilt trip her and say good-bye. Guilt bombs work pretty well in a situation like this based on the fact that emotion never really needs anything to support it, it can be completely unfounded and illogical but your subconscious will still nag you about it.

This will do nothing for you, but hopefully she does not lead another around with no intension of further contact.


One note though. Be careful your frequency of response. I know there is that "3 day rule" for the first call back, but that is a bunch of hooey (my now wife HATED that "rule"). Try not call back the next day, then text, then mail, etc etc.

Give it a day or two clear between the messages, and if you do not get a response from two of them (Phone, Text or E-mail) move on.

I know, easier said than done. But whatever. No matter how much we keep denouncing it, love and relationships are still a game. It all depends on how you perceive it and how important different things are to you.

On that note, Lunch! ;)

[Schadenfrau]

Play innocent.

Guilt trip her and say good-bye. Guilt bombs work pretty well in a situation like this based on the fact that emotion never really needs anything to support it, it can be completely unfounded and illogical but your subconscious will still nag you about it.


Sorry, but this is terrible advice. Nothing is more pathetic or annoying than someone who doesn't take any of many hints.

Eugenious, if you haven't seen this woman in months, it's pretty safe to say that you can live without her. Be glad for that, as it sounds like she would have been a headache in the long-run, anyhow.

[Alonzo-ny]

If you havent seen her in months and you are still chasing her she will most likely think you are weird by this point for not giving up.

[Ninjahedge]

Sorry, but this is terrible advice. Nothing is more pathetic or annoying than someone who doesn't take any of many hints.

Are you calling him pathetic?

Would you be pissed at someone if they did this to you? If so, Perfect! ;)


The nature of the guilt bomb was not to get her to go out with him, or to call back after being rejected for so long, but to basically let someone know that if they are not interested ina person, don't make them think you are.

No matter what you think, a lot of guys think that "let's do this again sometime" means just that.

Say what you mean, not what you think they will understand.

[Ninjahedge]

If you havent seen her in months and you are still chasing her she will most likely think you are weird by this point for not giving up.

I would think so too. But if she didn't want to see him, she should have said so up front, THEN ignored him.

Ignoring someone from the start is a VERY cruel thing to do and puts someone through a lot of anxiety and pain if they really were hoping to see them again.....

[Alonzo-ny]

In my opinion never get too emotionally involved on the first meeting. Ive seen some weird stuff. I once met a girl in a bar (with Stern ;)) and all was great and she called me the next day to ask to get together again and THEN started ignoring me.

[ZippyTheChimp]

What's with this guilt-bomb stuff?

Might as well put her picture and cell # on the men's room wall in the PABT. That'll show her.

[stache]

Just don't cover up my ad! :p

[NoyokA]

Im waiting for London Lawyers advice….

[stache]

I think it will involve a jar of hand cream. ;)

[Ninjahedge]

What's with this guilt-bomb stuff?

Might as well put her picture and cell # on the men's room wall in the PABT. That'll show her.

This is not something that he should do now.

But trying to get someone to feel a bit of what they are doing to someone else might make them think a bit more about it before they do it again.

Chances are, she will do the same thing to other guys in the future. Should one person be allowed to make many people that unhappy without someone taking issue with it?

"Let it go" is definitely something that everyone should live by, but until that Nirvana of self assured contentment arrives on this earth, some people will always cause pain and never fully comprehend that the pain is their doing, not all the "nut cases" they meet.

[ZippyTheChimp]

This is about dating, Ninja. You're a lot closer to those days than I am. Don't you remember the agony?

The rest of the dating population can fend for themselves.

[Eugenious]

Wow there's no shortage of dating advice on this forum that's for sure.

;)

[ZippyTheChimp]

We'll have you in divorce court within three years.

[Ninjahedge]

This is about dating, Ninja. You're a lot closer to those days than I am. Don't you remember the agony?

Yep. I remember the nervousness of calling up someone after the first date which I thought went well and being ignored. Of course, I thought that was just because they were busy, or lost the message, etc. But I would agonize about it and try a few days later (not two days in a row! You don't want to look desperate!).

The thing I am saying is that if these women are so blissfully unaware of how much pain they put the nice guys through (where have all the nice guys gone? They have been trained and trampled by the heartless women so that the NICE women have noone to find for themselves!), if they are unaware, then maybe someone should let them know.

Hopefully, if they realize how much pain their lying causes in the long run, they will choose to opt out of leaving guys on the line by taking the easy way out and not telling them that they don't want to see them again.

Maybe she is not heartless. Maybe she is just afraid of directly confronting the pain that will happen with her rejection. But again, if the ones that are afraid to do this had some inlkling of what it puts the nice guys through...


Well, hopefully, they would not do it again!


The rest of the dating population can fend for themselves.

I am confused about that statement Zip.

My only aim in this is to hopefully let the nice people find each other. To try and make it so that people do not get so embittered in the dating world.


Complete fantasy. I know! ;)

[ZippyTheChimp]

I am confused about that statement Zip.

Simple enough. Don't worry about the unseen competition. Just tell your friends, "Stay away from so-and-so."